I think a lot has happened since my last blog, not all for the good though.I,m still having to cope with the downfall of my marriage,still having to keep up appearances at work[no-one at work is aware].Still having to face the heartache of coming home to an empty household which used to be filled with noises equivalent of planes taking off.The lone existance i have now is unbearable.I keep saying to myself i did the right thing,sometimes thats enough to make me feel stronger,other times it simply doesnt.

I should point out although my marriage was less than a year, there are 2 children from

I have just heard from the jobcentre people.  I don't know why they didn't just tell me this in the first place and not waste my time.  Apparently I don't qualify for incapacity benefit, not because I am not unwell (I am) but because I haven't paid enough NI contributions in any one of the three tax years that count - 6 April 2004 to 5 April 2007.   Since I told them I had come back to the UK on 4th December last year and had worked from the beginning of January for six months before I gave up, you would have thought they could have checked that first. 

So now, no incapacity, no income

Did write in it yesterday.

Horrible day.  Went to work - cried - my boss gave me a good telling off - after me crying for about an hour - we was late for our disciplinary and looked worse for wear!!

My boss said how I can go to George with the begging bowl for a rise for you if you are not working! Bloody hell! I am going through the worse thing that has ever happened to me for christ sake.  But I know she is right and her keeping on at me will get me through - her Sagittarian bullying heart is a good heart at the end of the day and although its in her interests that i work hard - I know that