Flipped out big style last night. Lesson to self - do not try and box emotions up with kick up backside as they are not ready to go away yet. He's not ready to come back but he's still dangling that carrot. I have no idea whether I want him back or not, I just want to stop hurting. I sobbed and sobbed, another nights lost sleep and such pain. I managed to work for 3 hours but back to achieving diddly again. Can't go to drs for any pills until medical for new job done. Hopefully next week, then some sanity. I am just going to have to accept I am a mess and I can't clear it up yet or on my own.

do we let them get the better of us eh ?? can we help it ?

Hi Mr B and wiki pals..

so an up and down yest pm and today.

in true typical style i did the bridgit jones thing...after making my appts with estate agents and stuff and sobbing my heart out to my mum...(bless her she deserves a medal) i doned my sloggies, made mashed pototoes and brains faggots.....

watched 27 dresses, now i dont expect the guys to know but the wiki ladies I do...its a funny romantic comedy about ??? yeah uummmm a girl, her bridesmaid dresses (ive only ever been 1 thank god !! and that was to my mum 11 years ago) and

I've absolutely no idea what I'm doing, or if anybody will either read or be interested in my blog, but sometimes in life one needs a place to scream - and I'm hoping this'll turn out to be the place for me to do it.

If this blog continues, I'm reckoning that things will kinda start slotting themselves into place, a sort of "self Counselling" service. So here goes, and sorry to any readers for any future ramblings!!

I need to talk about it, the whole story - about the crap childhood that led me into a crap marriage that I'm desperate to escape from. But I've no idea if this is the place to do