I am new to this, I have never written a blog, I am a 43 year female with a family nearly grown up and married just under 25 years, and I want to leave my husband, I have for a long time, I have tried serveral times, but he wont let me. It does not matter what I do, and I have done some bad things, had affairs, left him and travelled, shouted and screamed at him. It does not matter what I do he considers marriage is for life, I feel the last 10 years for my life have been wasted, and I am scared that I will never break free from him.

I'm not really sure how I found myself in this position, nor am I sure of what exactly to write or how to structure my story. One thing I know is that everything I put into this story will be honest and accurate according to the best of my knowledge. I was married for 15 years and my divorce was finalised in January of this year.

I first met my ex-wife when I was 18 years old and she was 16. I was going out with a friend of hers but when she walked into the pub where we were on night I thought 'Wow!'. I thought she was gorgeous. We became good friends and were very close but the relationship

It’s a long and boring story that I don’t suppose any one else will read but I need to get this off my chest so where to start? Well who am I ... the newly named morning star, bit strange this to have such a name at my time in life but it was given to me by the new man in my life in the land between the two rivers. I am strong and capable but not when it comes to emotions or standing up to my ex. I am so determined to do the right thing that I end up doing the wrong thing for me. It an old cry I suppose and I don’t want sympathy for it but I do come from a dysfunctional family. Father was an