Hi All,

Dont Know where to start really.  I dont know why this has happened.  All i do know is that he's not hurting like I am.

11 years together, 6 married, and now i have lost my best freind.  As far as i know no one else is involved but they always say that you are the last to know so watch this space.

We met on holiday and being an essex girl didnt realise you should leave your holiday romances on holiday, not marry them and have 3 kids.  He is a Nottingham lad so made the move up here 10 years ago when i was expecting my 1st son.

Now its gone pear shaped he has all of his family around, his

Pleased to report better day today, largely thanks to support on here.

This site gets a bit (lot actually) addictive and I've spent quite a bit of time today reading bits and hopefully giving back some of that help and support to others in need.

I've evn told my relate counsellor how great this site is!

 No doubt there will be many more down days but got outlet for them here and for the good days too.

Thanks all

Scared x

First time blogger so forgive mistakes/lack of bblog etiquette if such a thing!

Why is it that friends don't undersatnd that you're feeling so rubbish u just need to stay in your pyjamas with all the curtains closed? Today it's hit me that I'm 40 in two months exactly and at this moment in time I'll have nothing to celebrate and don't even know whether I'll have somewhere to live.

I spose I hoped that I could keep everything at bay, just for a bit and for once not think about all the financial calculations, how my dreams had died and how the future really looks so bleak.

I thought all i wanted