Well def felt much better this morning from having written it all down and thank you so much for all your wonderful comments.

 Work was a big of a nightmare, drove in with loud music so clear my head and was in perfect state of mind. 1st client great, 2nd was a no show but 3rd!!!!!!!! It was a 1st alcohol counselling appt and they had missed in the assesment the person was drinking again to get over the marriage  breakdown and they had just found out about an affair, this client was devasated and rock bottom, just where i was a few weeks ago. They was no way I should have been given this

Yesterday I was so shocked.  Numb and very depressed after my day in court.  There are some great people on here and your comments to my blog, your words of comfort in Chat and PM all helped me so much - thank you to you all.

I got up this morning and thought "right you can either take this lying down and let them win OR you can get up and survive"   I chose the latter.  My girls need me.

I have sought new legal advise today and take comfort in the advise that it is very very unlikely that I will go to prison.  I will be banned for 12 months though, maybe 15 but we'll focus on 12.

I'm accepting

I have decided to write my emotions down as they are just so stupidly differing sometimes from hour to hour let alone day to day.

Today I woke up at 4am and wanted to smash his face in, I also want to smash the barmaids face in. I have no family thanks to her and he is a cheating liar.

Last night he told me by txt that his uncle had died, someone I have known for 18 years, and actually spoke to more than he did. By TEXT?????? I tried ringing but he wouldn't pick up, texted saying he would call this am. Then my head starts running away. He said he was going to the pub with Clive, surely if he