I had to take my car for its MOT this morning so found myself with a couple of hours to fill. I decided to pull on the wellies and go for a tramp in the woods a short distance from where we used to live.

I used to come here most days with the dog when we lived nearby. Fortunately this is a space I consider to be "mine" rather than "ours" and it was always a place where I felt at peace and very connected. Unlike so many other memories, I felt pleasure recalling the morning walks; the moment when I would  break through the shadowy gloom into a small glade with the sunlight filtering down through

This is all a bit random – but as thoughts that have been in my head occur, I kinda want to write them down. It’s my release, and now that I know that people do actually read these things, it’s a way of sharing my thoughts…

…about 2 ½ years ago, something happened in my life that has helped me to understand an awful lot of stuff that, prior to the event, made no sense whatsoever.

What was this event? My wife and I started ballroom dancing.

Now, nothing special in that, other than the way I feel about the ballroom dancing is the way I feel about my life, and a large analogy between ballroom

 

Hello!

Just need to record the fact that my husband came to take our son out today &, for once, I didn't cry or get angry or look sad. In fact, I didn't even feel vulnerable. I have surprised myself!

I suppose I was feeling in quite an upbeat mood to start with- I have been struggling with my confidence & self-esteem throughout all of this, but have been making myself ‘get out there', into the big wide world, & this is, at last, beginning to pay off. I am now able to feel a bit better about myself. I think that I am also beginning to really accept that what we had has gone. He is not