Hi, this is an emotional dumping exercise, no replies required!

First of all sorry. I previously promised to not leave this site without saying goodbye (previous concerns of members not hearing from other members) and have not logged on for a while) and had intended to log on just to sayI'm OK. I've now got a big need to unload, and feel bad because I've offered little to help others, but I don't expect responses - just a chance to express some feelings that I really want to aim at my ex but know that would only make things worse.

I thought all was going OK. I thought I had reached a HUGE point

well it is now officially my wedding anniversary, as the decree absolute is till not through, so I have decided to blog about how far I feel I have come in the 11 months since we split.

I have gone through turmoil,anger,hurt,rage,pain,sadness,tears, crying myself to sleep,dispair and self doubt I would ever feel right about anything again.

Looking back to this time last year when I would have been sitting in a restaurant,with my nice fancy card with sentiments written in and wondering why on earth he felt he had to write things and choose me the soppiest romantic card and assure me he loved me

Need to blog and stay close to wiki at the mo, was going to hibernate for a few days but I know that is the worst thing to do.

Yesterday he arrived at 6pm as planned. sat down and I asked for exact details of his current relationship with her and asked where he was at and where he wanted to go with me. He said he is living day to day and no idea where he is at or where he is going. She is a very close friend and it is at the moment non sexual. He couldn't explain how everyone thought they were a couple, he said other people lie and twist things. He cares for me but no love now. He said my