Amazingly I have slept right through the night for two nights in a row without tablets for the first time in a long while. I still awoke today to the same old thoughts about the OM and Ex, children worries etc... but its two positive days in a row when I have not had the children. I hope this continues and shows I'm starting to finally come to terms with she is NOT going to change her mind and perhaps my heart is catching up with my head and I NO LONGER want her to change her mind......... Why the better days? A good chat with some very nice people at the weekend certainly helped. Seeing a

Wow, that was a very hard day. More arguments with my wife. I need to stop that. It's like neither of us can take the last step to divorce. I have a lawyer appointment early next week so I'll get that going. She was going on about how all she wanted me to do during this whole time was "man up and fight for her". So I actually said I would if she would commit to no more contact with her ex-lover. She would not do that. So it became an idiotic discussion after that. A friend said it best "Why did you engage her in that discussion". I guess because I am an idiot. I got to hear another zinger as

Well the draft for my divorce writ has been approved by me lol I've decided to leave my share of his pension and settle for what he is offering me which to me is more than I expected so I'm happy. It's been a very long and difficult road but I'm in a happy place now and everyday is a bonus to me when I'm happy. I will soon be divorced now and looking back I don't regret my marriage as I had many a lovely time with my stbx and I wish him well in his life and hope he will be as happy as me but somehow I doubt it bless. Well will let you know when it's all finalised and we can maybe share a