Me and my wife did go to Relate in the end and it went well.

Before we went in I told my wife I wanted to try and make it work, but I didn't think it would. This helped a little.

We went in and the counsellor lady went through what will happen. Then she asked who wants to start. It was (obviously) me.

I went through what I thought our problems were. Mainly my wife paranoia, controlling ways and not me being allowed out. The councellor questioned my wife about this and it came down to my wife insecurities. She asked why she felt she needed to check my phone, not let me out etc. My wife didn't

I have an appointment for a mediation next week and I am not sure if it will all be a waste of time.  The first appt if FOC so I will probably attend and hopefully my STBX wife will also come along .  We need to discuss finacial split of marital home, pensions and SM .  I am obviously hoping for a clean break eventually.  My wife is an alcoholic (still in denial I'm afraid as well ). She does have 'good days' when she is fairly sober and rational.  Obviously I am nervous that she will 'kick off ' as the childen put it.  I'm guessing that any mediator would be very reluctant to continue if

i'm trying to keep a dialogue open with STBX, 'cos the the alternative is court, but when we speak she is evasive and spiteful, so i smile and try not to lose it. then when i get to a question she doesn't like, she tells me she's going to sleep now, at 3 in the afternoon! youngest boy called me and told me about their new 40inch TV and surround sound speakers, nice! funny then, she has told them that there will be no school dinners this week as DAD will not give her enough money to support them. this woman is 45, has never worked and has no intention of doing so. i hope they see through her