Hi,

My first blog. Trying to determine where I am on my journey to sanity.

I accepted my marriage is over. That was not that difficult, I guess I did not love him for a long time and neither did he. But I will always maintain that the way he got out of this marriage was the most cowardly and selfish,  absolutely no consideration for his children. That is why I still wish he suffered and his new relationship did not work out. I know that is a negative feeling that is holding me back and hopefully , one day i will feel indifferent to what is happening with him.

I am very nearly accepting that

My husband came round to collect our girls yesterday.   He was so different...

Previously he has been very 'closed', very business like or deliberately hurtful, mentioning his mistress and his new life.  All of this is so out of character of the husband I knew and loved, a complete personality change.

Yesterday he came in, was very chatty.  Wanted to know all about our holiday.  (The children and I have just retuned from a week in France).   Sat down and had a cuppa and we started to reminisce about past family holidays.  

He has been so unkind during the past 12 months, behaving as if he hated

Evening blog

I didnt think I'd need you tonight but guess what here I am again...what a night and day !!

I got a txt from my ex (this a thing that I dont get why do people call their ex's STBX, when I think after what he's done he is my ex even though still married and not even talking about divorce - should I be calling him STBX ?) anyway get a txt from him last night at 10.30, asking if i was well and had a nice tan and give the kittens his love, ( his mother obviously told him I'd gone away) he also said we must catch up soon and 3 kisses.....I didnt reply but felt sick when I got it..

I