This is the part of the week I hate, the WEEKEND!!! When everyone is happy family and it reminds me how sad and alone I am. Supermarkets full of families, today is the regatta - woop woop - loads families. This is where I get angry as he if filling his weekend and having great fun socialising whilst I at home broke, looking after kids and lonely.

I didn't blog yesterday as was cross. I have been excluded from his uncle's funeral. He is going up to his sisters the night before and then they travelling up from there. He hadn't even considered that after knowing the guy so many yrs I might want

I have decided to write my emotions down as they are just so stupidly differing sometimes from hour to hour let alone day to day.

Today I woke up at 4am and wanted to smash his face in, I also want to smash the barmaids face in. I have no family thanks to her and he is a cheating liar.

Last night he told me by txt that his uncle had died, someone I have known for 18 years, and actually spoke to more than he did. By TEXT?????? I tried ringing but he wouldn't pick up, texted saying he would call this am. Then my head starts running away. He said he was going to the pub with Clive, surely if he

For the first time today, I think I am truly starting to accept it's over.  For the last 12 weeks there has been a glimmer of hope that maybe he will change his mind, wake up and realise he's made a mistake..... I don't feel that today.

I'm scared by the enormity of it all.  I am going to have to be responsible for myself and the kids...just me with no-one to help or rely on.  I've never had such an enormous responsibility and I'm petrified.  Yes, I can cope with all sorts in normal circumstances,I have done,  but I always knew he would be there if needed but I dont know if I can do this on my