Tomorrow see's two years since my mum passed away, and I miss her so much, like it was yesterday. I wish in so many ways that I could turn back the clock. I miss her giving me cuddles and stroking my hair, even in my 30's and telling me that everything will be OK. I miss her love and her advice, and speaking to her everyday, not for anything in particular just random chit chat. I so wish that she was here now to help me through this crappy time I am having, as much as I love and adore my dad, he isn't my mum and he can never fill her shoes. My mum is the only person I know who has been

18 months on and I, like so many good Wiki Peeps, am still struggling to come to terms with the sheer destruction that the demise of my marriage has and continues to cause. Time may have moved on, but the children and I are still stuck. Stuck in this quicksand of divorce that is becoming like a huge black hole, sucking us into a never ending whirlpool of a journey of pain, turmoil and raw emotion. It is a tale of a love once shared, something stronger than any band of gold but now two strangers who are walking a tightrope of a fine line between love and hate. Where did it all go wrong and

just coming out of a down spike emotionally. its always triggered by monthly hormones which seem to wash my head full of memories. just the turn of his head. trips out. Holidays. Him in the house are usually full of memories of his temper and bad black moods but we had such great times out and about. I miss that. i miss being stuck in and I miss not being able to go to all the places I want to go to. I had discussed going to Camp bestival with him 2 years ago - we decided not to go that year as i would be 8 months pregnant but we had mentally planned it in for the future - then he left.