Well Today I am off to our house in France with my s2bx and our son for a "holiday"? I don't want to go and I know its going to be very bad.

I am feeling like my husband can't stand to be in the same room as me at home so how are we going to get on in a house half the size for almost 2 weeks. I must be mad doing this. I am also frightened that in the back of my mind is that maybe we might be able to sort things out, when I know that this is not the case but somehow I keep trying to fix things. Why do I do that when he has been so mean to me? Do I still love him?

So wish me well and hope it's

 

hi blog...well its nearly 12.30 on thursday am...

im unhappy....very unhappy...

ive had a row with a friend and i hate it...

im miserable and i hate the fact that ive rowed with this person. he means alot to me...

i just needed somewhere to vent my misery..my friend will probably be suffering too but i think ive just been too pig headed and stubborn to answer the phone..it wasnt even a proper row !!! he just said something that upset me...how stupid is this !! lifes to short to have upset times...

i cant believe ive let him go tonight on a row...i know i wont sleep properly now...and neither

so tomorrow is the day my ex gets married to that thing, do i wish him well not at all, hope he forgets his decree absolute hope it pours down on that beach.Am i bitter no angry ,angry at the way he has treated me and our children , angry the decree absolute was granted without my knowledge , angry we have a FH soon , angry he could forget his own children angry he plays games still dictates what sort of life the children can have as he picks and chooses when he wants to pay child support.In our whole marriage he paid for us to go on holiday once yet for her nothing is too much even down to