Feeling really frustrated at the speed (or rather lack of speed) with all this.

We now have a court date in January but at risk so even on that date we may not get it heard.  And this is only the arrangements for the children, we haven't started on the financial arrangements yet. 

I cannot accept that even with social services involved due to the concern about ex's drinkingand the welfare of the children this has taken so long.  We agreed to divorce 12 months ago.  I thought (stupidly) that we might get it resolved through mediation but this simply took up another chunk of time.  At the

  Well the last few days have been really bad. Nothing has happened but I've been feeling really down, in floods of tears all day. You know, the usual. Other than that I think I've been doing well. I suppose that I've become more familiar, for want of a better word, with the situation. I hate it, don't get me wrong but that's the way it is.

  Now like many I'm not looking forward to Christmas, you know, the time that you spend with loved ones. My parents will be in Spain, but they get here on new years eve. I have vitually no contact with my brothers, that's the way it's been for a long time.

Roasting hot today 42 degs C. Everybody sweating buckets under the unforgiving sun. We had the computer network crash today so I was not able to lose myself in work like I would normally do. Consequence........bad attack of the blues and a crisis of self confidence. Doubting myself, doubting that my analysis of my wife and I's relationship problems. Thinking once again that it was all me that caused the split. My excessive drinking, that I started all the bloody arguements. So I printed out  our e mail fight that I had saved on my laptop.

The clues are all in the language that people use. They