thank you so much for all your comments.  sometimes i think all this is in my head and its not really happening to me.  finding that there are others who have been or are going through the same sort of thing means alot to me as it goes part way to making me think perhaps i am not crazy and am just being realistic about our situation.

in both our hearts i think we know its over.  he hasn't said as such but it must be difficult for him to think about what happens next if we are going to split.  does he leave the home? i guess he could go to him mum's as she is nearby.  there is no way i can

Hi folks

Got the kids with me this weekend, so busy being taxi service! Daughter at school disco last night, son had friends over for sleepover, very busy in my house so no time to get maudlin.

Got christmas card and presents from his aunt and family, which set me off again. Feel so robbed of the life I had, he has taken not only himself away from us but his family too. I did say earlier on in all this mess that I was not prepared to stay in touch with his family as it would be too painful. I have had a rethink on that front, as I am missing his family and friends just as much as I am missing

Really can't be bothered with anything tonight. Tonight was supposed to be a great night, in that G/F was supposed to be on her works xmas party and she was coming to me straight from work and I was taking her and then picking her up at 1am, but.... she was sick during work yesterday and went home and slept. I hardly heard a sausage from her last night though to be fair she said she was goign to bed early. Anyway, had the day off today and done some xmas shopping. sent her a text askign how she was and she said she was just as bad as yesterday and she was staying in bed. I then feared for