This evening, I was almost suicidally depressed for the first time in ages.  I had to leave work mid-afternoon, because I found myself sitting at my desk crying.  By the time I got home, I felt empty and numb, and all I wanted was to go to sleep and never wake up again.  Fortunately, I had two friends online who talked to me till 1am.  They kept asking what was up, and all I could tell them was "nothing".  

It wasn't like anything in particular happened that tipped me over the edge.  I just reached the point where I no longer believed in myself, and couldn't see the point in continuing with

sometimes i could swear that man is schizo. can anybody tell me for sure? when i moved out i took a job in another country. at first he would call and some days we'd fight but some days he almost convinced me to go back. but lately he's been sweet as u can imagine. calling me to say he's sorry he wants me back. calling 'just to say hi'. calling to say he's glad i'm flying back for christmas and cos he'll get a chance to see me. yesterday he called again. said he wanted to say hi and find out if i'd confirmed my travel plans. we had earlier agreed i tell him when i'll be home so he can leave

hi Mr Blogman and wiki's

 i just need to blog,  feeling abit down..

nothing happening re house  sale - im not sad about that in a way but its a pain in the backside having to keep it sparkly just in case (yeah and im a nightmare for cleaning but this is doing my head in !!)

went out for a couple of xmas do's over the last week and it was hard, really hard...

lots of questions from people i work with and i just couldnt hack it and left really early, didnt even drink that much, not that thats a bad thing - just thought better of it...otherwise this little lady would have been an emotional wreck...

i