Hi folks . This is my first blog so please exuse any ranting and raving that i am probably going to put in here .

On the 21st of june 2008 i thought my world had come to an end and things could not get any worse after 15 years of marriage and 19 years as a couple we ,i say we it was mainly her decision, to end our marriage. On the 22nd of june after a day of talking to a mutual friend i suddenly realised she was having an affair . I didn't think it could be much worse until she told me it had been going on for NINE MONTHS . How can someone be so niave and so stupid .

Looking back the signs

.... thats all it is til my FH.  To say I am scared is an understatement.  I am petrified. 

I know that this is what I have been waiting for, but can't get the demons out of my head.  All my insecurities are coming back, and I am thinking that something bad will happen in everything I do. 

Stbx is being strangely nice.  This is un-nerving as he usually becomes more aggresive in the run up to a hearing.  He is talkative and pleasant.  Cant help thinking that maybe he has something up his sleeve for Friday.  Christ I dont know, maybe I am reading too much into it.

So far my insomnia has not

I started this blog as my profile, initially I felt too shy to post it, but having reviewed it I thought it would really be better as a blog

Steve

Hi

I'm a 53 year old professional man living in North Devon, Happily Married (So I Thought) for 8 years. My wife has recently left, and has flown to Sweden to see her 2nd Cyberlover for a month (09/07/2008). Prior to that she went to Rhodes a month ago to see another Cyberlover

Currently feeling all the emotions one expects happens in such circumstances (sadness, loss, emptyness, betrayal, fear, uncertanty,guilt, concern for her well being etc.