I thought id start a blog, to try and get some of this negative energy out of me.

Not feeling right at the moment, im very panicky and my heart wont stop racing.

Ive gone through every emotion under the sun today.

Im so scared of being alone, i just feel so down and lonely and he seems fine, its not fair, why cant he feel some of the pain im feeling, mind you why would he, its him that has told me he doesnt love me and wants to be on his own.

I woke up this morning so sad and scared, he picked me up because i had to sort clothes etc out, now he's gone to work. I have so many questions that i need

Hello!

Well, I think today went okay. I received lots of good advice regarding how to cope with seeing my stbx when he picks up our son & it seems that speed is the key to reducing the stress. Thanks for all the tips.

I have to admit that he still had 2 coffees today- one when he picked up & another when he dropped off, but they were much quicker than usual. I was so obviously loading up the car for the tip when he arrived - I left the car boot open just to make sure he could see what I was doing. I think the fact that communication was kept to a minimum helped to speed things up too. He

I have finally done it.  Been to see a solicitor.  The letter came through this morning with the copy sent to him.  It only asks that he pay me half the mortgage until the house is sold and that he not enter the house while I am not here.  Also that he attends mediation to sort out the money.

 I feel like poo and am so sad it has come to this.  28years of my life has been destroyed.  I tried to so hard to make it