Or should i say why cant i die?

    sorry if i sound so low, but im having an awful time at the moment. The reason i cant die  is because of my kids,they have got a crappy mother, who doesnt give a sh.t about them,so therefore i have to be strong for them. trouble is i dont want to be strong any more,i have had enough, even after having had a heart attack, my so called family and friends still dont care enough to ring, just to see if im alright,so i have to carry on on my own. this is my only outlet, i do try going onto the forums,but i have no confidence,so i watch for a few minutes,then

Oh god, I just dropped daughter into town to go to fair and thought I drove past idiot and  woman, my god I never thought i would react like that. I turned car round and drove back past but it was just someone who looked very like him. The joys of living in such a small place. My body went ontp complete panic mode, I thought I was going to hyper ventilate or pass out, I was shaking and thought I was going to burst into tears. I am home and half hour later even though it wasn't him am still shaking like I have never done before. If they are still dating then I gotta accept I am some point will

Ok went out, nothing to do but thought go into town to mooch. I am losing it, every woman I see I wonder is that her? If she is walking around with a young teen girl I almost stop and try and hear if they refer to any names? The barmaid has 13yr old daughter (I know tart and tarts daughters names). Please tell me other have felt like this and I am not going fruit loop. I just need to know what she looks like, who she is, what she is.

Idiot texted me, I am obviouslly in bad mood, see above paragraph, so gave him the f**k off text back (more words but same message). Wanting him to crawl and