Feel Ok.  After I wrote yesterdays blog went on the site and read some threads, downloaded some more music on my ipod. 

God I am becoming so attached to the ipod now.  I don't listen all the 'heart' records so much as they make me cry.  I have got Whitney - Dance with Somebody and that always cheers me up!!  Also Madonna Jump - almost as if she is willing me on.

Have decided that I definitely don't want to play whatever game he is playing. If he doesn't want a divorce that's up to him.  He will continue to play games all his life - that is him a boy who wants to win - like a 7 year old. Well

So much has happened - and yet so little at the same time. I wish I could write it in a list  Top Ten Shite that has happened this week .... but its all crap so perhaps easier on my poor little mind if I try and write it chronologically, although when you let days pass the thought of the pain you feel at the time passes so I am hoping my current pain will also pass. 

Monday - Went to mediation.  I saw his name in the signing in book 10.00 - he scruffy writing - that writing that wrote me hundreds of cards, letters, birthday and anniversary cards over twenty years - some of which I still have

  Well another weekend. People think that as time passes, we come to terms with issues like this. Well thats not really true. Yes, some people get over things quicker than others, but they're the lucky ones. Tomorrow it will be four months since I was told this news, and it doesn't get easier. There are times when all I do is cry like a baby, yes those days are less frequent,  but they are still coming. It keeps going through my head that maybe we should have done things differently. That maybe we should have had the family that we always wanted. But maybe they would now be caught in the