When I separated from my second husband I really wasn’t in a good place, having already had a previous unsuccessful marriage I felt completely useless and a total failure, as well as feeling like I had let my children down again and I just couldn’t even comprehend the idea of entering into another relationship.

There were no third parties involved and we (or rather I) had got to the point where I was tired of being the trophy family just brought out for special occasions. I originally proportioned blame as 90% in favour of my ex as he was the one living a single life

well the week is finally over , seems like i've made all of the forward motion that it's possible to make , now i have to wait for the wheels of the system to turn . . .       both the children have gone down with flu , which they've kindly shared with me , thankfully im still able to function . . . just !!

my days now are totally focused on the children , which im enjoying - though with them being sick its a lot more work , my stbx is out a lot more - which suits me , out of sight , out of mind , i still have bouts of loneliness but now im getting quite adept at pushing it away - i can deal

What if, when I had those second thoughts a month before, I  had decided to not marry him?

What if, when his Mum told me 2 days before the wedding that I would have  to feed 10 more of her friends (I catered my own wedding) or I wouldnt be allowed to have the recption in her garden, I told her & her son to shove off? (Not upsetting her cost me my honeymoon ££, btw, & she never said thanks).

What if, when he first called me a nasty name, and swore that cannabis was worth more to him than I was, I left him?

What if, when he cheated the first time, I  put my foot down and said NO, I am leaving, I