Diary

Play the Game

5th August 2004 is the second report for court to be done since 25^th May 2004. The doctors are Not satisfied with this they send me on to other NHS paid Psychiatrists paid to do court work.

May I ask you this, do you think you would be strong enough to enter into any kind of therapy at such an emotional time as this was for us as a family ?

Not knowing what the future outcome is going to be for all of us, least of all one of your children who is so seriously ill with leukaemia at this time, he is also later on dragged along for reports for court .

Am having a series of firsts at the moment - first blog, first time on wikivorce,first time away from daughter etc. Have been married 10 years- not happily for most of them - the marriage was never what i expected it to be. Finally got fed up of trying to be what my husband expected me to be and making myself ill (depression) and told him it was over 3.5 weeks ago. Am still living in family home and therefore absolutely skint. Husband and daughter both on school hols, while im at work, so she spending week there, and weekends with me.So many things to worry about at the moment - money,

Well, it's been 3 days since my last confession .... sorry ..... Blog!

Dont really know how I feel today ..... bit muddled to be honest.  I've had a bit of a 'spat' with him over the last couple of days but woke up this morning to a text that was very nearly an apology!

I saw my Counsellor yesterday, this was only my first real appointment but I do think she is going to be helpful.  I dont know how to accept its over and dont know how to move on.  I'm hoping she can lead me down that path.

She told me not to expect too much, when you have loved someone for 22 years, feelings dont change