Hi All and thank you for making me so welcome, I feel very at home here and hope to stick with you through my journey ahead.

Some background- Have been with stbx for 19 years in total (lived together for most of that), married for 9 of them. Im just turned 37 and I have two lovely boys aged 5 and 7. My 7 yr old has Aspergers Syndrome which is a form of autism.

Ive been unhappy for many, many years and gradually the lines of communication between us became worse and worse until we just existed together and i found it increasingly difficult to talk to him about anything. I began going out

Told my x it was over in April after 12 years married, 8 of which have been heartbreak after heartbreak.  We have three children 14y, 10y and 2y. We moved to Spain last year to make a new life and get rid of money problems and debt but have since discovered that no matter how much we pay off debts from selling houses he will just amount it up again within a few months by getting cash on credit cards.  Dont get me wrong its not just money.  He works away alot and cheats, lies and basically leads a single life when he's away using credit card cash, when we're at home with no money in the bank

Timing is wrong. My big 40th looms in a few weeks time and I was hoping to hold off all conversation of our marriage until the date was past.

Last night we talked of my not loving him anymore and was asked if I had anyone else, I don't. It would be easier if I did, at least we can have an argument and all move on. Instead he knows I have been uphappy for a long time and maybe we have taken on too much in this project in France. He wants it all fixed, like a childs toy, but I must move on.

What's stopping me, oh he mentioned he can't live without the kids and would have to return WITH THEM to