When he finally came home, we talked. We talked for hours, deciding whether we could work things through, if there's enough to build on to save this marriage, and despite my hurt, I asked to try again. We both agreed there's enough love to start afresh.

Last night, he came home from work and, as we watched television, I did something I haven't done in years - I performed oral sex on him. It's not something I have particularly liked doing in the past, but last night was different; I enjoyed it.

Afterwards, he went quiet and wouldn't meet my eye. He shrank away from my touch and stared with

So...here we go.

After cancelling the last 2 times my x2b was supposed to have visitation with our son, she finally seems to have come through. I will be meeting her at the airport early tomorrow morning and he will be flying home with her for 2 weeks.

She has spent a grand total of 12 days since September 17th. Only one full week, which was the week of Christmas and I nearly forced her to spend that week with him. I had to update her on his potty training program, his breakfast likes and dislikes, what I pack in his lunch daily, what he likes to watch on TV, what he likes to sleep in, etc.

He might be coming round tonight. When I got home this morning he had put a note through my door saying he did not want to try again because he could not face the pain. I phoned him and we spoke on phone for an hour and a half it was very emotional and upsetting he didn't say no but just he had felt so much pain and had loved me so much he needed to think of himself now. I did ask if he would come to relate with me and at first he said yes but then said no he didnt think he needed to. I asked if we could meet face to face tonight when I will be home alone and he said he would try to make