Picked my children up on Friday, as is becoming the norm now, from our friends who act as intermediaries btwn us...... Gave my son a wonderful day on Sat for his seperate B'Day with Daddy and family. He loved his pressies, a ride on plstic motorbike some football goals (damn the bad weather denying us playing in the garden) and even loved the swim shorts I got him; result!!!! Sat night, after a good day and putting my little ones to bed I watched the footy then tried to go to sleep myself; By 2am after constant damaging thoughts I gave up, went back downstairs for a sleeping tablet and

This morning my five yr old asked me if daddy still lives here. I've given a lot of thought to how and when we should tell the kids, but my stbx and I agreed that we have hit the metaphorical pause button and he wants to see our counsellor together and meet with the lawyers before we tell them. However, despite him and I hitting pause, we cannot stop the momentum of what he and I have started. He's not lived here for nearly two weeks, had two out of e three kids last weekend and again this coming weekend, visiting friends and now his mum. My daughter, aged seven told me she was proud of me

I was thinking of using a contact centre for my ex husband to see our kids. He sees them at my house just now but I feel this causes me a lot of upset. I have tried for nine months to be civil and to put my kids first as I would rather they were in their own home than a centre but I feel I have reached my limit with my ex