It is one minute to 1am...what the hell am I doing up still when I've got two mad kids to get ready for school, a nightmare school run and a full day of work ahead of me.  But point is I just can't sleep...my whole life and future seem to be unravelling right in front of me and I'm completely powerless to stop it. I want to cut the thread, tie a knot...save everything that matters to me...but I don't seem to know how. I feel stupid that I didn't see any of this coming...and now even more stupid that I don't know how to resolve it all. Maybe I should have paid more attention all those years

day started ok - daughters dad came to house - general chat about things - fine,

asked what was happening about house and what was he going to allow us to move on - things just headed down the slippery slope from there on in.

did apologise though - although why i dont know - pressure is on my self and daughter as we dont know where we are going to end up or when.

I had offered to move out every other weekend to allow him to have daughter - but he says absolutly now way he will spend a night in this house - not sure why??

i thought it was the perfect solution well, all her stuff here, all her

Thank you all so much for your support.

He was here putting them to bed tonight when I logged on and read all your comments. It helped more than you will ever know.
I have had a good day today. Work went well, I ate well, I was able to be supportive to a friend in need who has been such a help to me. I was able to put it all in perspective for once.

My low point of 8.00pm to 10.pm didn't happen, the girls were safely tucked up in bed in their own beds, and happy because daddy was here. No tears tonight from them and they will feel better for it.

I managed to avoid him almost completely. I