Well, I said I would keep you all posted and for those of you interested ..... this is what happened on Monday ... my 18th Wedding Anniversary.

At 8pm after a miserable day feeling sorry for myself I got a text from him, telling me that it had been a 'big thinking day'! and that he had admitted to himself that maybe 'we' could be fixed and that .... if I still wanted to ... we should try and sort things out!

I was too frightened to text back for a while and when I did it wasnt the answer he expected.  I told him that if we did, I had to be sure it was for us and not just for the children and he

Today is my 32nd wedding anniversary . I could have been sitting in a smart resturaunt having dinner with him and not much to say. Instead I'm on my own in an internet cafe posting to you lot and guess what I'm loving it I don't want my old life back . I'll enjoy this experiance while I can and then who knows. I had an e-mail from a friend yesterday saying she saw them together in Sainsburys. Thats the 4rd person who spotted him in a supermarket  if only he'd told me that was his lifes ambition! Anyway back to my India trip.

Another day in work and about 4 hours making sure the children

Ugh! I have a shudder running through my body when I look at today's date. It is his birthday today.

I imagined, some weeks ago, that I would be able to be friendly & send him a text saying 'Happy Birthday', but no, I am not going to do this. He is with her. & they are celebrating together. I am not a part of his world anymore. I have no place in his new world.

He probably half expects a text from me, after all, I was the woman who begged him to reconsider his thoughts about leaving, pleaded with him to go for counselling, told him I would always be here for him, no matter what, no matter