I just needed to share this with someone.

Today is my daughters birthday and I haven't seen much of her although I'm still in the FMH.

I managed to grab 15 minutes with her this morning by going into work late. She looked pleased with her present and I got a big cuddle and a kiss. So much for both parents to be seen to contribute to a single present.

Tonight I sit in the house alone.

My stbx has decided that she and the children will go to her parents for a birthday tea and just to emphasise her control they will stay there for the night. So I'm glad that I managed my 15 mins this morning. The

last week was awful, I felt so bad I couldn't bare to blog or do anything much,just worked through the deporession I had felt, all mostly brought about by s2bx's 'woman' turning up on my daughters birthday and my daughter spending time with them rather than me on her special day.ruined it somewhat for me.

Well after a few days of depression and self  pityI had run out of tears to cry for the time being.I'm sure I will get it again ..just didn't forsee this one happening.

Decided to carry on with everything,getting the ball moving for us to move, and packing a few boxes to free up some space,

Well this morning I did the 'big' thing, and went with my children to get their mother birthday cards/presents.

Boy, it was like eating thistles, as I used to enjoy going with my kids to get her something, but it pained me this morning. I noticed my sons' mood change, he was acting like he was in trouble. He's 10, so I just told him that this was really hard for me, that it was nothing he was doing wrong. I also told him that I was doing this for them, my children. He seemed to understand and we had a hug. I just wish I could hide it better, but I can't at the moment. Meanwhile my daughter