here again sory been so down and now i know why ! life is cruel to the point of being sadistic most of the time we can just brush things off but every now and again reality comes and bites you hard this is one of those days for me the reality  for me is coping on my own with no partner to share with the day to day things you know silly stuff ,hows work etc ive been trashed once and dont ,no wont be trashed again my armour is back on the sheilds are up i wont be hurt again even if it means a life on my own cant ,wont !!  i used to be so giving but i think while im starting life again i will

well back from my holiday, and trying to keep things moving forward.. got the consent order giving me my right to the house proceeds and I am faltering and struggling.

Have forms to complete from the solicitor and forms to complete about the house sale,all needing to be done before house goes on the market.I am stalling, trying to find time to fill the damn forms in but just struggling with every day things at the moment.Keep feeling very tired and keep waking up at 4am, and then falling asleep early evening.

Today I was over at my parents and had to listen to how they and my sister never

This is so unlike me....sharing my innermost fears and feelings of failure, but I feel inadequate at the moment and am crying as I write this.

 My ex husband left me in January 2002, with three kids currently aged 13,12 and 9. He had another child in November 2002 and divorced me in October 2005. 

He has irregular contact with the children and hasn't paid any child maintenance since January 2008, prior to this he paid £200 pcm.

My standard of living has dropped considerably since the break up, the children often go without and my debts often go unpaid. It is so so hard just to get by some