I am confused; it's not that difficult for me to be this way!

You see, when I was with my ex I was miserable, probably 80% of the time, and probably from about year 5, so for most of the time that we were together, well I thought I was.   Before we were married, our relationship was already over, I  knew that she wasn't the one for me,  don't know why I didn't have the guts to say so, would been less difficult then it ended up being, however I would not have had my angels!

All of my close friends are in long term relationships, and none of them are happy well if you look at it this way, they

well back from my holiday, and trying to keep things moving forward.. got the consent order giving me my right to the house proceeds and I am faltering and struggling.

Have forms to complete from the solicitor and forms to complete about the house sale,all needing to be done before house goes on the market.I am stalling, trying to find time to fill the damn forms in but just struggling with every day things at the moment.Keep feeling very tired and keep waking up at 4am, and then falling asleep early evening.

Today I was over at my parents and had to listen to how they and my sister never

This is so unlike me....sharing my innermost fears and feelings of failure, but I feel inadequate at the moment and am crying as I write this.

 My ex husband left me in January 2002, with three kids currently aged 13,12 and 9. He had another child in November 2002 and divorced me in October 2005. 

He has irregular contact with the children and hasn't paid any child maintenance since January 2008, prior to this he paid £200 pcm.

My standard of living has dropped considerably since the break up, the children often go without and my debts often go unpaid. It is so so hard just to get by some