This is so unlike me....sharing my innermost fears and feelings of failure, but I feel inadequate at the moment and am crying as I write this.

 My ex husband left me in January 2002, with three kids currently aged 13,12 and 9. He had another child in November 2002 and divorced me in October 2005. 

He has irregular contact with the children and hasn't paid any child maintenance since January 2008, prior to this he paid £200 pcm.

My standard of living has dropped considerably since the break up, the children often go without and my debts often go unpaid. It is so so hard just to get by some

only me again just like buses all at  once !!!!

strangest day today need to finish off building work at family home while she on hols  walked into house and felt really weird the house ive been renovating for 18yrs on and off youknow between having enough time and money didnt feel like my home anymore !!!!

which i think is a good thing but grrrrr hav to finish it !!! still a friend told me the sooner i get it done the better  and their right  because then i can sever all links then !

does make me sad tho all the blood sweat and tears  i phiysicaly put in to the house and then having to walk

just wanted to say thank you...and big hugs for my mesgs

my wedding anniversary weekend....mustnt grumble going to see Madonna on sat at cardiff !!

been with ex everytime before, now its going to be me and my mum !! having ladies day...

love you guys

happy