I have only a little bit of time left with my stbx. I thought I had prepared myself better, but find that i'm missing him like i've already left. Oh my...the shakes from the inside of my body and out this morning are almost too much to bare. Just made a hot cup of green tea with a splash of honey. Always seems to comfort me. My gosh...i'm going to miss him badly. I heard him laugh at something this morning. My heart sunk. I always loved his laugh. I have to remember this is his decision and not mine. I can't have regrets that I didn't cause. I must concentrate on my future happiness. (Secret

Today is turning out to be a difficult day for me. I don't know what to do with myself I feel like I'm just drifting along without any purpose. It has been a couple of months now since I found out about OW but I still can't come to terms with it all. Why won't it sink in to my stupid thick head. I can't believe he would do this to me.. but he has and as he likes to remind me there is no going back. I just wish I could get my head around it all.. I don't want him back I definately know that much so why am I unable to move on with things. I'm constantly thinking about him where is he, what is

This afternoon an email appears on the screen on my phone..oh what now ?. I have been trying not to speak to him and it's been a few days since our last spat..What he wants is to tell me that he has been sent on gardening leave from work..he's got to attend a disciplinary hearing for misuse of his company mobile and he's telling me I WILL BE SACKED. at the bottom of the email he says I HOPE YOUR PLEASED. I rang him.. he sounds drunk but it's only mid afternoon..he tells me the phone bill is slightly higher than it should be because he's been calling and texting me and OW. Hang on you haven't