Hi to all who read this sorry tale.

Ok, so most of you know that my husband of 23yrs left me four times (starting in August) and denied that anyone else was involved, but he no longer loved me. Then about 10 days ago he announced that he had been having an affair for 7 months. He told me that he loved this woman and that the last time he left was to be final. So weeks of tears and despair was the only thing I had endured and was about to endure.

Then last week he said that it had all been a terrible mistake and it was me he loved. (Here we go again I thought). He said he would do anything to

Don't really want to write much ..... my husband moved out today.  After months of sort of trying to put things behind me I cannot forgive him and move on.  he has not helped in this by not making me feel more secure.  I am supposed to just think that its over and she has gone away, although I am not too sure about this.

Pleaded with him to come home at 8 pm last night instead of working over and being with her - but no - wouldn't do it - when he finally came in at 10.30 pm I was really upset and hysterical - so I have messed up - driven him away.

Last week he was nice had time off to be with

Once again I  find myself blogging sadness and frustration.

Bad day follows bad night follows bad day follows bad night....

This is my 8th week of this - this mood of dread, trepidation, loneliness, sadness, frustration and melancholy.    Yes, melancholy (couldn't find a better word!)  

ughhhhhhh

This started after the summer break. Before the break, I was so happy, I was glowing. At least once a day someone would comment how I have reclaimed myself as the vibrant person I used to be. A song made me elated. A nice sentiment made me giddy. Was that a symptom of disguised depression?

Within a few