Day 4 of me not contacting him.  Kept busy but oh why does it still hurt?  Even when I KNOW he is an abuser and I am SO much better off without him.  I have to stop myself from texting/e-mailing/phoning - nothing urgent - just the contact.  I'm used to being with him all the time - just texting to say I love you.... I don't want him back (I do but won't) so why can't I just "move-on"?

I WANT to be strong.  I feel like crying/killing him/dying.

He is living happily with another woman - drinking, eating out, having sex,  loving and laughing.

Not contacting me is easy.

I know I have to keep keeping

When I was 15 years old, he just went. I mean, he wasn’t much of a role model in truth, but still – he was my Dad.

…and as time moves on and the years tumble by, I look back on those years after he went and realise what a bloody mess I was.

I mean, there I was now the new “Man Of The House” having to deal with such situations as finding my Mum in the under stairs cupboard in darkness holding a knife to her neck. What a bloody mess I became.

And I stayed like that for many years – and only now that I have a Son of my own can I realise why I was like that: I had nobody whatsoever to teach me how

Hi all,

I just can't get a grip ! my wife is still going ahead withthe divorce and it is destroying me , I know its my fault its happening but I just can't handle it .  I am not an emotional guy and probaly only cried 3 times in the last 10years  but now I am crying all the time, even at timy things like my little boys favourite song  etc and just can't stop it, I feel like a passenger . not sleeping well ....I have 2 dreams/nightmares every night now that wake me up crying which are that my wife meets someone else and that I am not there to protect my children . its like a part of me has