Spent most of today wishing I was part of a family again, my family, and that we could have stopped being horrible to each other, and prevented this mess.

Then I got home and the nisi was on the mat, how did they know?

I'll cry when the kids are in bed.

Not so nisi to see you,

Have just ssen my daughter who saw her dad today for the first time in 5 weeks.  I am really upset not because she saw him because i hoped he would turn up this time (he has let her down 3 times)  I dont know why i am upset.  Can't stop crying.

I have had a bad day, on the verge of tears all day.  I think him seeing our daughter has brought it all back.  She said he seemed cold.  He still insists i threw him out and I wont be getting a penny.

Why did it have to be like this.  Why couldn't he love me enough.  I miss him so much and just want to talk to him.  I know there's no going  back but it

I'm sure I've heard it said that men marry women that remind them of their mother's. I could be wrong, but somewhere in my sub-concious I've heard that said.

So, what is my mother like?

Well, just about everyone that should be dear to her has walked away from her.

Her husband, her children and her grandchildren. All have either left her or have distanced themselves from her. That's a lot of people, 13 in all.

If I was here, I'd be staring to look at the common denominator in all of this, but I'm not her. She choses the life she leads, and is certainly too old to change anything, even if she