Ok went out, nothing to do but thought go into town to mooch. I am losing it, every woman I see I wonder is that her? If she is walking around with a young teen girl I almost stop and try and hear if they refer to any names? The barmaid has 13yr old daughter (I know tart and tarts daughters names). Please tell me other have felt like this and I am not going fruit loop. I just need to know what she looks like, who she is, what she is.

Idiot texted me, I am obviouslly in bad mood, see above paragraph, so gave him the f**k off text back (more words but same message). Wanting him to crawl and

This is the part of the week I hate, the WEEKEND!!! When everyone is happy family and it reminds me how sad and alone I am. Supermarkets full of families, today is the regatta - woop woop - loads families. This is where I get angry as he if filling his weekend and having great fun socialising whilst I at home broke, looking after kids and lonely.

I didn't blog yesterday as was cross. I have been excluded from his uncle's funeral. He is going up to his sisters the night before and then they travelling up from there. He hadn't even considered that after knowing the guy so many yrs I might want

Have been reading everyone's blogs and they all say that writing things down helps so thought i would give it a go.

 Have to go to Court tomorrow to discuss more contact for my ex to have the kids.  Have agreed that he can have them overnight every second weekend and on a Sunday on the intervening weekends on the condition that the tart he has been having an affair with is not there.  He has agreed.  Feel sick at the thought of my babies going away from my overnight. 

 Don't really know what else to say except that 4 months down the line I still cant get the images of him with another woman