I am often asked 'do you still love him?'

Do I still love him? Love who? A man who, since he started an affair years ago, lied to me, put me down constantly, never smiled to me. A man who never stood by me and never appreciated the support I lent him. Do I still love him?

He certainly does not deserve my love.

May be I am holding on to who he used to be. what I still hope he is. I still want to find hope in the man. Does this make me a romantic fool. or an eternal optimist?

I don't hate him. Not because he is the father of my children, nor is it because for me he was family for a very long

I think this must have been the longest period of time I felt positive and content, since the sh*t hit the fan at the beg of Feb. I've managed a total of 6 good days-no tears or blazing anger. I know it can't last, but it feels really good.

I had a fruitful visit to the sol last fri. I had to sign another affidavit as scumbag had finally returned the petition. Apparently the court wouldn't accept the last affidavit we handed in, as they received his petition and felt that I was trying to rush things!!! Bearing in mind his sols letter accused me of holding the proceedings up-what a contrary

Evening blog

I didnt think I'd need you tonight but guess what here I am again...what a night and day !!

I got a txt from my ex (this a thing that I dont get why do people call their ex's STBX, when I think after what he's done he is my ex even though still married and not even talking about divorce - should I be calling him STBX ?) anyway get a txt from him last night at 10.30, asking if i was well and had a nice tan and give the kittens his love, ( his mother obviously told him I'd gone away) he also said we must catch up soon and 3 kisses.....I didnt reply but felt sick when I got it..

I