Having lit the fuse a week ago tonight the explosion happened.

Have been told to f..k off and die.  (literally and I think she meant it from the way it was said). I'm really can't believe that I lived with this person for 12 years.  The children are being used as pawns in a game to satisfy her determination to make me suffer as much as possible.  I still can't believe how selfish someone can be.

I thought we might manage a discussion of sorts aboout arrangements for the children.  How wrong I was.  She is determined that this will be resolved in the courts so I am wasting my time (and money)

So, today I wake up emotionally tired. Today is a bad day.

Today I wake up with a headache which has not left me all day. I feel stressed.

I am angry at myself for not being able to be the bigger person. No, I am the bigger person but feel like I am being backed into a corner. I am only human & I have feelings too.

I refuse to be a victim again. I was a victim of my now ex-husband's abuse for too many years and I found the strength to escape, to set myself free. I am not that caged bird anymore, I am not!

I have been singled out for a reason which although I vaguely consider plausible is by no

I went abroad for 3 weeks in March to visit relatives.  We had been out of touch, almost estranged for some 11 years.  However, unexpectedly they have offered to support me while I go through this divorce.  This support has been mainly emotional but they have also offered to become advocates for me when I see my solicitor etc.  I am very greatful for this - it is more than I expected.   I had lost hope of finding any friends in my predicament.

Since March, the time has gone by in a blur of ups and downs with plently of worry and uncertainty.  My solicitor has advised me to stay in the