Well haven't blogged for a while but can't sleep at all tonight.

Have been trying to converse with b'atch via e-mail as it stops the kids getting involved to much but I don't know why I bother. Every e-mail I sent she send to her "friendly" shrink before she every replies I feel it would be quick just to send it direct to him?

Anyway no progress on anything much, she managed to forget to tell me about sports day on Wednesday until my daughter asked Tuesday night if I was going, how I wish I could have cancelled my meeting to be there, but al most normal people will understand that is not

Having lit the fuse a week ago tonight the explosion happened.

Have been told to f..k off and die.  (literally and I think she meant it from the way it was said). I'm really can't believe that I lived with this person for 12 years.  The children are being used as pawns in a game to satisfy her determination to make me suffer as much as possible.  I still can't believe how selfish someone can be.

I thought we might manage a discussion of sorts aboout arrangements for the children.  How wrong I was.  She is determined that this will be resolved in the courts so I am wasting my time (and money)

So, today I wake up emotionally tired. Today is a bad day.

Today I wake up with a headache which has not left me all day. I feel stressed.

I am angry at myself for not being able to be the bigger person. No, I am the bigger person but feel like I am being backed into a corner. I am only human & I have feelings too.

I refuse to be a victim again. I was a victim of my now ex-husband's abuse for too many years and I found the strength to escape, to set myself free. I am not that caged bird anymore, I am not!

I have been singled out for a reason which although I vaguely consider plausible is by no