It's finally about to happen. The divorce petition will go out this week. So far I've followed my solicitor's advice: don't name him, let's agree the divorce petition before it's sent, the modern way is to be helpful and conciliatory. Yup, its worked wonders so far, lots of letters going between sols and costing everyone a fortune without getting anywhere. Of course, its still all my fault. If only we could be amicable about it (her suggestion of course), nothing to do with that she was having an affair,or that when she was found out she carried on (they are soul mates don't you know) or

Some people here have made me consider my self confidence and just how strong it is. I have always thought my confidence was very high. I come from a great family. My parents always loved me and always will. I think this is fundamental to my character. I have always known I am a "good guy". I, somehow, got through a very tough technical degree at a very tough university. I have been working, mostly successfully, in software for 20 years and have never had trouble finding work. I am successful and happy in almost all my relationships. Great friends, parents, sisters, kids, nieces, nephews,

So.. what do we do here? tell the whole story? Ok so here goes. Yes I had an affair and yes Im still with him. Im not proud of it but am happy with my new man. My marriage has been far from perfect with domestic violence and affairs. We both knew we were not compatable. The affair was discovered in December and caused utter heartache ffor my husband and to my 3 kids. Now nearly 4 months later my life is a living hell. We still live together. Divorce has been filed for. Emotional abuse is happening almost daily toward me and Im totally stuck. He is trying for primary carer to all 3