I don't think he had an idea that today was Father's day.  Or may be he didn't think I'd do something about it.

I got the children to get him gifts - they picked cuddly toys. I got the cards, cake and flowers.

He spent Saturday night here (at home) so he can spend more time with the children. I let it be. I thought waking up with them on Father's day would be good for him and them. But I could not look at him or talk to him. I closed my bedroom door all the while he's here.

Sunday morning the children get the gifts, cards, cake and flowers and go to him.

He makes the obligatory Sunday

I feel utterly depressed and betrayed. My wife of  5 years told me last week that she is leaving me for another guy that she met online. Monday she left to be with him. I called her to see is she made it ok because i still desperatly love her and She said she was in his bed watching movies and I heard him in the background. I immediatly fealt like I wanted to die. To hear my the woman with whom I was planning on spending the rest of my life in bed with another man just devestated me soo much more. Ther are so many emotions that I am feeling all at the same time its making me sick. I have not

I am not really over it. No way near that.

I cannot forgive him for the affair. I know that one day I will be passed this, but not yet. And it is not only the affair, it is also the way he came home every night and took his guilt out on me.

Knowing the extent of men's (and women's) ill treatment by their spouses and partners, I sometimes feel I've had it easy. He's not violent or abusive, in the conventional sense of the word. But then I think: are these my options? Am I supposed to count