I found my blue earrings. It may seem trivial to you, but to me it is very important. These are the earrings that signify the time I broke out; the time I decided I deserve better. The time I woke up to see that I am not what he says I am.

For a long time, while he was having the affair, he made me feel unattractive and unable. He later said it was the guilt talking! And even though he says it's not what he meant, he continually put me down. He turned me from a bubbly highly accomplished young woman to a timid defensive person (not woman) who kept apologising for things she should be proud

They say there is no amicable divorce.

I am very civil to him. And he sees the children as much as their time allows. Sometimes at the expense of my comfort. But I let it be - he needs to see them and they need to see him.

He says the most awful things sometimes. I have been through a lot. Some of it as a direct result of his behaviour and some because life is such. I cannot keep going through this. Sometimes I feel my heart bleeding and I cannot breathe. Sometimes I find myself crying for no reason. And sometimes I am happy as if all is well. The happy times are far less than the bad

I'm a newbie to this - site, divorce etc.

Been married for 28 years been with my soon 2bx for 31 years, have 2 fantastic kids. Just before Christmas 2007 discovered my soon 2bx was having an affair. Tried to reconcile but she not interested so threw her out.

Am in process of divorcing my soon 2bx, decree absolute in about 2 weeks. Have done it all myself so saved £'000s, if anyone wants help with DIY divorce I'll try to help if I can.

As they say every cloud has a silver lining. Although tough at first now 7 months on I feel happier on all levels and more importantly so do the children. Its