Why do we do it, why do we build our walls in life to hide pain? Why do we build them high so only we can see out. Brick by brick. Piece by piece and let nobody in? 

Yet inspite of us, along comes a day where slowly...  it comes down, we take the walls we build, the walls we now break are all just pieces along life's way. 

The heart knows, the heart cares, the heart dares, dares to be free, dares to fly, we were scared to let it go, scared to try.  So brick by brick, and piece by piece, the walls come tumbling down, and here we sit, watching, waiting.... and most of all, not

Had a bad night last night, found myself dreaming about her (nothing specific, just her in my dreams!). i awoke at 0310 and then that was it for the night! damn!

I dont understand her sometimes, since seperating in January we have only seen each other at work Mon-Fri. until recently (when i put a stop to it) she would make a point of finding me at the end of the working day to kiss and hug me goodbye for the night!

I put a stop to this a few weeks ago because i felt it was giving me a mixed message and i have to move on.

Last Friday, we had to work closely together on a project and i found that

I found my blue earrings. It may seem trivial to you, but to me it is very important. These are the earrings that signify the time I broke out; the time I decided I deserve better. The time I woke up to see that I am not what he says I am.

For a long time, while he was having the affair, he made me feel unattractive and unable. He later said it was the guilt talking! And even though he says it's not what he meant, he continually put me down. He turned me from a bubbly highly accomplished young woman to a timid defensive person (not woman) who kept apologising for things she should be proud