Well he doesn't love me, its official. He doesn't know who he wants or where his life is going. She (barmaid) doesn't know he has been trying to sort things  out(well she does as I told her) and he isn't sure who he wants now. He said tonight he needs to talk to his mum when she is over from cyprus next week to help him work out what to do. He was honest tonight about how close they are and currently non sexual. He speaks to her most days he said. Sorry can't write more at mo as so upset. finish tomorrow, will finish

Well took the lead and today is d-day. Tonight we are going to sit down and talk. Tonight I need answers. He is going to have to talk about her, his feelings for me and everything else. I cannot cope with this anymore. Got about 2 hrs sleep again last night and am struggling to even focus on basic simple things. I feel shaky and sick and cannot carry on like this. I need answers.

Tonight he has to make a decision. Properly sort things out with me or that is it. I am taking control. He is coming over at 6pm, he knows why.

Just not sure how I will keep going till 6pm tonight, it feels like

The quietman is back almost to his old self. I have been the happiest man on this planet for the last two months. Children have all made contact with me and having been a good boy and kept my mouth shut, courts have backed off. I am so happy. My two sons have become men. My eldest son turns eighteen this month and his seventeen year brother has left home and moved back to Cornwall. I have spoken on the phone to my youngest daughter and although it left me in tears, Iwas crying for joy. I have even had a verbal kick up the bottom from my fourteen year old daughter. After a very long phonecall