i hav had a realisation today ,funny how sometimes something just clicks especially when im not the greatest thinker !!! lol!

last weekend i went through my entire wardrobe,drawers and boxes and had a massive throw out ! ....not unusal i know but there were a couple of items that must hav added to my down times in the week perhaps even subconciousely (sory for my spelling lol)

my wedding suit was one and other items that were assoiciated with it !!!but hey sentiments have now gone right???besides the suit must have shrunk over time lol!!!shhhh couldnt even do up the trousers ??

so there it is or

hi all  thanks first of all for being here and your comments to the things i write i was humbled by some of the things you said in encouragement thankyou  !!

since i last wrote on here like mike 62 said the pendulum went the other way wow its so  like a switch !..fell wretched ...feel great....fell wretched...feel good etc !!!

still im on the up ...bouncing  again i think im getting stronger everytime i bounce back so that must be a good thing lol !!as for working in the family home while shes away im now just treating it like any other job and its only the normal practical hassles that bug me 

Hi all.

had to get my thoughts down tonight.

been in floods of tears, just started falling and cudnt stop them, and im usually so stong and together, feels like its not really me.

got email froms sols today saying the affidavit I had done for deemed service had been accepted, (had to do this as he wudnt sign the acknowledgment).

so this is really happening. I feel really sad, and lonely and lost. and the tears fell, tears for the loss of my past life, and fears for the future one.

I am strong, I have coped with loads during may marriage, miscarriages, 2 prem births, house repo, bankruptcy, and