Today i have been described as 'being in a bad way' and feel a need to explain this.

I know you all know me as a bit of a joker but today the jokes dried up, and to those of you that this normally helps, I apologise.

I do not keep much track of dates but I awoke this morning to the realisation that in 6 days time I would have been emmigrating to the dream life I had planned with my ex over a period of 3 years. Everything was in place and I had even booked the project team to renovate the beautiful Chateau in France that we had found (after he'd already met his 'soulmate'). He even still wanted

Well it's been a fantastic weekend for me and I have finally felt like I am making progress at last. I went out Friday night with my new work mates and Saturday was bowling with some of you lovely wiki peeps. Thanks guys it was loads of fun and so great to meet you all. I have felt like I have a life and I can be happy on my own. Even the BBQ at friends wasn't spoiled too much by my x2b being there...... it was strange don't get me wrong and I have very mixed emotions about him now but I'm not falling apart quite as I was a few weeks ago........

What next I ask myself..... I think its time

Eigheen years ago to this minute I was a young girl getting prepared in my wedding dress  looking like a princess.  I was at home with my mum and dad and my family and preparing myself  to go and declare my undying love to him in front of everyone that mattered to us, for better, for worse etc etc ..... till death us do part. 

It was a hot and sultry day, my headress broke on the way to the church, the cake melted in the heat and the record we requested for our first dance was found to be scratched and virtually unplayable .... but it was a great day... the best.

 Today I am sitting in front