Need to blog and stay close to wiki at the mo, was going to hibernate for a few days but I know that is the worst thing to do.

Yesterday he arrived at 6pm as planned. sat down and I asked for exact details of his current relationship with her and asked where he was at and where he wanted to go with me. He said he is living day to day and no idea where he is at or where he is going. She is a very close friend and it is at the moment non sexual. He couldn't explain how everyone thought they were a couple, he said other people lie and twist things. He cares for me but no love now. He said my

Well he doesn't love me, its official. He doesn't know who he wants or where his life is going. She (barmaid) doesn't know he has been trying to sort things  out(well she does as I told her) and he isn't sure who he wants now. He said tonight he needs to talk to his mum when she is over from cyprus next week to help him work out what to do. He was honest tonight about how close they are and currently non sexual. He speaks to her most days he said. Sorry can't write more at mo as so upset. finish tomorrow, will finish

Well took the lead and today is d-day. Tonight we are going to sit down and talk. Tonight I need answers. He is going to have to talk about her, his feelings for me and everything else. I cannot cope with this anymore. Got about 2 hrs sleep again last night and am struggling to even focus on basic simple things. I feel shaky and sick and cannot carry on like this. I need answers.

Tonight he has to make a decision. Properly sort things out with me or that is it. I am taking control. He is coming over at 6pm, he knows why.

Just not sure how I will keep going till 6pm tonight, it feels like