Not having a good day today. Have hit the alcohol, not bad but had decided to stay clear for a while but that's not happening tonight!!

X2B and I went to see some apartments today. This made it real. Brought it home to me that it is actually all happening. X2B wants us to move into our respective apartments ASAP, in the next 2 or 3 weeks.

She's right, of course, it is the right thing to do.

Especially as I'm started to get irritated by things she does. Silly things, I've no right, to be honest. But there you go. What really gets to me (and upsets me if I'm honest) is how easy it appears

Having a funny old day today. Thoughts all over the place, head in bits. Nothing new there then! :lol: Our hotel hosted a silver wedding at the weekend. Have known the couple since I was at school, going on 30 years. Seeing them so happy and fulfilled, with all their children, friends and family around them upset me. That just isn't going to be for me. So it's a feeling sorry for myself day. Get it out of my system and write it all down. Feel better for having done something positive. Went to see my children's heads of year this morning, as I am concerned about their perfomance at

I know it isn't going to happen......... but what I wouldn't give to have everything back when it was 'okay' (although it obviously wasn't)

I long for life to be 'normal'..... to go through each day with everything being 'just so'...... instead of having every waking moment filled with 'what happened'.....'where did it go wrong'.....' what did I do wrong'.........'why did he do this'.........'how could he treat me this way'.......

the hurt - the anger - the sadness - the confusion -

who am I?...where am I going?.......what will I do?......

will this ever