Contact with the children has resumed with my stbx and hence so has the emotional abuse.  After a few weeks of feeling safe with who I am becoming my stbx it still seems has the ability to make me feel worthless.

  At a time when I should be enjoying my children I feel like I felt all the times he told me I was nothing. That I was fat,( he frequently called me Bubbles with reference to the Little Britain character), that I wasn't a good wife or mother and constantly put me down.

This weekend has been hard, really hard. Emotionally I feeled drained, just when I thought I was able to deal with

My story sorry its so long it is just nice to write it down

I decided to divorce my husband on dec the 12th 2007 after trying to explain to him how his use of the internet was destroying our relationship. I am not a prude and would have loved a healthy relationship! But the internet was something which I did not want part of but it seemed to take over his whole life. He downloaded porn all the time and excluded me from having a normal relationship with him.... When I opened my heart to him and cried and  tried to explain how it made me feel, degraded, unloved, dead from the neck down,

It will be one year soon since I left my abusive husband...thanks to therapy and my good friends I'm doing unbelievable well...so why!?...why did I have nightmare about him last night (again)?...I think that I feel guilty about the way I left him...

I was trying to tell him for so long that I'm unhappy in the marriage...I was trying to get him to marriage counseling but he wouldn't go...I was getting more and more depressed...I felt like there is nothing I can do...nowhere I can go ...

One morning I left for work as usually...I got panic attack at work and I just never came back home after