Two weeks ago we agreed to start counselling before Xmas. We had broadened the scope so that it was not just to enable separation (as my wife initially wanted).

It had all gone quiet and there had been a few incidents where I was not happy with my wife's reaction to things (hey, par for the course I hear). So on Monday I asked what progress she had made with choosing a counsellor from the list I had selected from BACP.

The answer really surprised me - nothing. She hadn't had any time (!) at all to look at any of the pages I had printed off to help us make the choice, had not contacted her

OK this is a Divorce support website and so if you have been through a trial separation it is likely that you are now heading towards a divorce.

I fully understand that. But I would like to know how people went into a separation, how much planning went into it, how did you manage it with children involved, what you felt of the experience, pitfalls and benefits.

Your help would be appreciated. Not quite at that stage but it is something we are discussing.

Thanks

Well we had another chat on Monday about things. I said that I was not happy to enter couple counselling with sole aim of 'agreeing separation'. It may well be the outcome that we both agree on but that should not be the only aim. I see it involving our current feelings towards each other and their causes.

My wife said that she couldn't discuss things with me because of my anger. Well I have looked into this a lot and anger is quite normal when you feel you are moving apart and one party won't discuss it. It is positively harmful to surpress the emotion, I have been told. I was aware of